1969 Uncle Meat

1969 Uncle Meat
"The Voice Of Cheese"
[Suzy:]
Hello, teenage America (heh),
My name is Suzy Creemcheese,
(SNORK)
I'm Suzy Creemcheese because I've never worn fake eyelashes in my whole life
And I never made it on surfing set
And I never made it on beatnik set
And I couldn't cut the groupie set either
And, um . . .
Actually I really fucked up in Europe.
(SNORRRRRK)
Now that I've done it all over and nobody else will accept me
(SNORRRK)
I've come home to my Mothers
"Dog Breath, In The Year Of The Plague"
[includes music from the World's Greatest Sinner soundtrack]
AY-YEAH . . . AY-YEAH . . .
AY-YEAH . . . AY-YEAH . . .
La la la la la wee-ooo (Ay!)
La la la la la wee-ooo (Woo-pah!)
Bom-bop-bom bom-bom-pa-paw,.
Bom-bop-bom bom-bom-pa-paw, etc.
La la la la la wee-ooo (Uh-uh-hey!)
La la la la la wee-ooo (Yeah-pah-hey!)
Dit-dit-dit-dit-dit-dit-dit-dit
Dit-dit-dit-dit-dit-dit-dit-dit
Please, hear my plea!
Cucuroo carucha (Chevy '39)
Going to El Monte Legion Stadium
Pick up on my weesa (she is so divine)
Helps me stealing hub caps
Wasted all the time
Fuzzy Dice
Bongos in the back
My ship of love is
Ready to attack
Primer mi carucha (Chevy '39)
Going to El Monte Legion Stadium
Pick up on my weesa (she is so divine)
Helps me stealing hub caps
Wasted all the time
Fuzzy Dice
Bongos in the back
My ship of love
Ready to attack
Won't you please hear my plea
Primer mi carucha (Chevy '39)
Got me to El Monte Legion Stadium
Pick up on my weesa (she is so divine)
Helps me stealing hub caps
Wasted all the time
Fuzzy Dice
Bongos in the back
My ship of love
Ready to attack
"The Legend Of The Golden Arches"
[includes Uncle Meat]
Heh heh heh . . . GrrrRRRNNHH . . .
[Suzy:]
The first thing that attracted me to Mothers music was the fact that they played for twenty minutes and everybody was hissing and booing and falling off the dance floor . . . And Elmer was yelling at them to get off stage and turn down their amplifiers
"Louie Louie"
[FZ:] Ah! I know the perfect thing to accompany this man's trumpet. None other than . . . The Mighty & Majestic Albert Hall Pipe Organ!
[Guy In The Audience:] Right!
[FZ:] You understand that you won't be able to hear the organ once we turn the amplifiers up . . . Awright, Don? . . . Whip it on 'em! . . . "Louie Louie"! They like it loud too, you know?
[FZ:] Let's hear again for the London Philharmonic Orchestra!

"Sleeping In A Jar"
It's the middle of the night
And your mommy & your daddy are sleeping
It's the middle of the night
And your mommy & your daddy are sleeping
SLEEPING
MOM & DAD ARE SLEEPING
SLEEPING IN A JAR . . . (the jar is under the bed)
"Our Bizarre Relationship"
[FZ:] Bizarre!
[Suzy:] Bizarre . . . ha ha!
No-one could ever understand our bizarre relationship because I was your intellectual frigid housekeeper.
Especially when you'd be going to bed with one chick at night and I wake up in the morning and find another one there, screaming at me . . . ha ha . . . Asked me what the fuck that chick was doing in your bed and I'd walk in and you weren't with the same one you were in the night before.
Oh, I'll never forget that, as long as I live.
That house, well it had your shit all over . . . and we had a cat and we had fleas and we had lots of crabs that we proceeded to give to everyone in Laurel Canyon except for Elmer and Phil, because they were too sick to ball . . . ha ha . . . Elmer has a mentality of approximately One Peanut. Possibly.
As a matter of fact, I can remember Elmer telling me that you really had a lot of talent, but he didn't see how anyone could ever make it that insisted on saying FUCK on stage.
And he used to drive by in his gold Cadillac and peer in the window . . . ha ha . . . 'Cause he never could get over the amount of groupie status that, that you had and he didn't. Possibly because he's 50 years old and wretched . . .
[FZ:] HA HA HA!
"The Uncle Meat Variations"
[includes Exercise #4]
Ya ya ya ya ya
ahhhahahhhhhhhh
Ya ya ya ya ya
ahhhahahhhhhhhh
Fuzzy dice & bongos
FUZZY DICE
I got 'em
At the Pep Boys . . . at the BOYYYYYYYYS
Fuzzy Dice & bongos
Brodie knob & spinners
Chromium plated
Ha Ha Ha
"Electric Aunt Jemima"
Ow ow ow ow
Rundee rundee rundee
Dinny wop wop
Ow ow ow ow
Rundee rundee rundee
Dinny wop wop
Electric Aunt Jemima
Goddess of Love
Khaki Maple Buckwheats
Frizzle on the stove
Queen of my heart
Please hear my plea
Electric Aunt Jemima
Cook a bunch for me
Tried to find a reason
Not to quit my job
Beat me till I'm hungry
Found a punk to rob
Love me Aunt Jemima
Love me now & ever more
(Love me Aunt Jemima)
Dit-dit-dit-dit dit-dit-dit-dit
Dit-dit-dit-dit ditty-ditty
Dit-dit-dit-dit dit-dit-dit-dit
Dit-dit-dit-dit ditty-ditty
Dit-dit-dit-dit dit-dit-dit-dit
Dit-dit-dit-dit ditty-ditty
Dit-dit-dit-dit dit-dit-dit-dit dit . . .
Tried to find a raisin
Brownies in the basin
Monza by the street light
Aunt Jemima all night
Holiday & salad days
And days of mouldy mayonnaise
Caress me (ah!)
Caress me (ah!)
Caress me Aunt Jemima
Caress me (ah!)
Caress me Aunt Jemima
Caress me (ah!)
Caress me Aunt Jemima
Caress me (ah!)
Caress me Aunt Jemima
Caress me (ah!)
Caress me Aunt Jemima
Mmm, boy, my lips are gettin' heavy
I can't tell when you're telling the truth . . .
I'm not.
How do I know anything you've said to me is . . .
You don't.
"Prelude To King Kong"
Ayyy! Yee-hah!
Here's one with your father's moustache, your old cookie jar, rubbers, sneakers, galoshes, belt buckles, and book covers with the name of your high school neatly imprinted in crimson and gold on the front with a picture of the goal post and last year's queen.
"God Bless America"
God Bless America
Land that I love
Stand beside her,
And guide her,
Through the night
With the light from Above
Yeah!
"A Pound For A Brown On The Bus"
Uncle Meat
Ahead Of Their Time
Zappa In New York
You Can't Do That On Stage Anymore Vol. 4
You Can't Do That On Stage Anymore Vol. 5
The Yellow Shark
Fade!
"Ian Underwood Whips It Out"
[Ian:] My name is Ian Underwood and I am the straight member of the group
(Ha ha ha!)
[Suzy:] Wowie Zowie!
[Ian:] One month ago I heard The Mothers of Invention at the theater. I heard them on two occasions, and on the second occasion I went up to Jim Black and I said, "I like your music, and I'd like to come down and play with you." Two days later I came up to the recording session, and Frank Zappa was sitting in the control room. I walked up and said, "How'd you do, my name is Ian Underwood and I like your music and I'd like to play with your group." Frank Zappa says, "What can you do that's fantastic?" I said, "I can play alto saxophone and piano." He said, "All right, whip it out."
"Mr. Green Genes"
Eat your greens
Don't forget your beans & celery
Don't forget to bring
Your fake I.D.
Eat a bunch of these
MAGNIFICENT
With sauerkraut
MMMMMMMMMMM
Sauerkraut
Eat a grape, a fig
A crumpet too . . .
You'll pump 'em right through
Doo-wee-ooo
Eat your shoes
Don't forget the strings
And sox
Even eat the box
Your bought 'em in
You can eat the truck
That brought 'em in
Garbage truck
MMMMMMMMMMMMouldy
Garbage truck
Eat the truck & driver
And his gloves
NUTRITIOUSNESS
DELICIOUSNESS
WORTHLESSNESS
"We Can Shoot You"
[Ian:] Dee . . . dee BAH dam . . . eeeeh-dam pa-pa-pa-pa-pam . . . tee-pa pa-pa-pa-pa-pam! And just wail out the last one.
[Bunk:] Mmm, let's (stack) here, then.
[Ian:] Yeah.
[Bunk:] Three, four . . .
""If We'd All Been Living In California...""
[FZ:] Ok? Now if you still want to get your name in magazines he wants five hundred dollars a month!
[JCB:] Where does it come from? We worked one gig this month. And now, so, what do we get, two hundred dollars for this gig up here, if we're lucky. If we're lucky, we'll get two hundred. And it'll be two weeks before we get it. Probably. I mean a- . . . after all, uh . . . what is all this shit in the, uh, in the newspaper? We sh-, if we got such a big name, how come, uh . . . we're. . .
[FZ:] That shit in the news . . .
[JCB:] We're starving, man! This fucking band is starving! And we've been starving for three years. I realize it takes a long time, but God damn does it take another five, ten years from now?
[FZ:] There's some months when you're not gonna work as much as other months. There's some months when you're gonna make a lot of money, and if you average it out, you do make more than two hundred dollars a month.
[JCB:] Expenses are sure high, too. If we'd all been living in California, it would've been different.
[FZ:] If we'd all been living in California, we wouldn't work at all!
[JCB:] Ah that's - true . . . Well, we're not working n-now anyway! We worked one gig this month, Frank! What's wrong with getting two months in a row of this good money? Or three months in a row? Then we can afford to take three or four months off and everybody can . . . After the first month I can get just enough ahead, but if I had two more months, man, I'll get ahead. 'Cause I'm not living very extravagantly, I'll tell you for sure . . .
"The Air"
The air
Escaping from your mouth
The hair
Escaping from your nose
My heart
Escaping from the scraping
And the shaping
Of the draping . . .
I'm awaking
In a T-shirt
In a Chevy
At the beach
And I'm freezing
And I'm wheezing
And I know
You were only teasing
I hit you
Then I beat you
Then I told you
That I love you
In my car
In a jar
In my car
In a jar
The air
Escaping from your pits
The hair
Escaping from my teeth
My hands
Are gripping
But they're slipping
And they're dripping
'Cause I'm tripping
I got busted
(Wasted)
Coming through customs
(I'm so wasted)
With a suitcase
(Wasted)
Full of tapes
(I'm so wasted)
It was special
Tape recording
And they grabbed me
While I was boarding
Yes, they grabbed me
Then they beat me
Then they told me
They don't like me
And I crashed
In my Nash
We can crash
In my Nash
We can crash
In my Nash
We can crash
In my Nash
We can crash
In my Nash
"Cruising For Burgers"
I must be free
My fake I.D.
Freeeeeees me
Gotta do a few things
To make my life complete
I gotta live my life
Out on the street
The difference between us
Is not very far
Cruising for burgers
In daddy's new car
My phony freedom card
Brings to me
Instantly
ECSTASY
"Tengo Na Minchia Tanta"
Ah, tengo na minchia tanta
Tengo na minchia accussi'
Devi usare un pollo
Devi usare un pollo
Se me la vuoi tastar
Tengo na minchia tanta
Tengo na minchia accussi'
Tengo na minchia tanta
Tengo na minchia accussi'
Devi usare un pollo
Se me la vuoi misurar
Devi usare un pollo
Se me la vuoi tastar
Tengo na minchia tanta
Tengo na minchia accussi'
Tengo na minchia tanta
Tengo na minchia accussi'
Guarda che se la mangia
E mentre se la sta a pappa'
Chiedimi che cosa fa
Se la sta a succhia'
Tengo na minchia tanta
Tengo na minchia accussi'
Tengo na minchia tanta
Tengo na minchia
Devi usare un pollo
Devi usare . . . se la vuoi misurar
Devi usare un pollo
Se me la vuoi tastar
Tengo na minchia tanta
Phyllis: That Tishman . . .
Tengo na minchia accussi'
Tengo na minchia tanta
Phyllis: 'Til this day I don't know what he's talking about!
Tengo na minchia da tastar
Mmmmm
Come on, baby
Come on, baby, suck my fire!
Oh yeah . . .
Guarda che se la mangia
Tengo na minchia accussi'
Guarda che se la mangia
Mentre se la sta a pappa'
Chiedimi che cosa fa
Ma e chiaro! Se la sta a succhia'
Tengo na minchia tanta
Tengo na minchia accussi'
Guarda che se la mangia
Guarda che se la mangia e se la sta a succhia'
Darling
Darling
Darling
Look at your sister
Do something like that, thanks
Devi usare un pollo
Devi usarlo per misurar
Phyllis: Frank!
Aynsley: . . . this is the Mothers of Invention movie!
Phyllis: But . . .
Cosi' me la potrai succhiar
You both suck in stereo
Jesus!
Tengo na minchia tanta
Tengo na minchia accussi'
Tengo na minchia tanta
Tengo na minchia
Tengo na minchia tanta
"Uncle Meat Film Excerpt Part II"
[Phyllis:] I used to watch him eat, and while he was eating I would talk to him, and while he was eating I would ask him what he was doing, and all he would say was, "I'm using the chicken to measure it." Till this day I still don't know what he was talking about! That Minnesota Tishman, he was some guy, but I still never understood what he meant. The chicken to measure it, I don't know, probably some secret thing.
[Phyllis:] "I'm getting hot. You're really good at those dials, baby. You're the most manipulating person I've ever seen. What's he eating? Is he turning into a monster? Frank: But you're just making things out of it. Don: Put it in your mouth then your eyes. Frank: You're getting hot, come on! The last that . . . " I don't like this page, it's not so funny . . .
[FZ:] What's the difference?
[Phyllis:] I don't like this page, it's not so funny. "Oh, this gets me hot! Oh, this gets me hot! Will get hot, I can get hot over it. Get hot over the hamburger, I can get it, you're getting hot, oh, am I hot over this hamburger! Think am I hot, for a hundred dollars you're getting hot, oh, am I hot, I'm so hot, I'm so hot from this hamburger, I'm hot."
[Phyllis:] Well, I'll just continue on with my work, I can't be thinking about such things, gets me too confused. I think I need a shower, I'm tired, I'm hot, the room air-conditioning is not working. If you don't pay the bills, how does the air-conditioning gonna work? I'm going.
[Massimo:] And now, dear friends, we are going to translate. This is my left hand.
[Phyllis:] This is . . .
[Meredith:] Violence!
[Stumuk:] This is my left hand, non?
[Meredith:] Violence! Ooh, I just, ooh!
[Guy From Alabama:] You have an orgasm?
[Aynsley:] No, but it just feels good!
[Guy From Alabama:] Can I watch?
[Don:] That's what we need, progress!
[Aynsley:] Actually I think that's uh, that's cool.
[Guy From Alabama:] Get the girl here in the red.
[Aynsley:] Yeah.
[Massimo:] Repeat after me: Questa e la mia mano destra
[Stumuk:] Questa e mia mano destra
[Don:] Progress!
[Phyllis:] Where's the prostate gland?
[Massimo:] Look out!
[Don:] Progress is our most important product.
[Massimo:] Guardalo che mangia! E mentre sta mangiando parlami mentre mangi. E chiedimi cosa sta facendo.
[Stumuk:] Parle mi.
[Massimo:] Che cosa sta facendo? Sta mangiando. Adesso chiedimi cosa sta facendo. Sta mangiando
[Stumuk:] Guarda sta fachendo!
[Massimo:] Ma non lo posso fare.
[Stumuk:] Sta mangiando!
[Massimo:] Me ne devo andare.
[Stumuk:] Mene debo ndare!
[Massimo:] Devo tornare.
[Stumuk:] Dere tocnare!
[Massimo:] Era un senatore a trentasette anni.
[Stumuk:] Era un senatore de setreste ano.
[Guy From Alabama:] What band being you playing in?
[Aynsley:] I played in a blues band.
[Guy From Alabama:] Blues band, so do I!
[Aynsley:] Blues.
[Guy From Alabama:] Blues!
[Aynsley:] Blues avant-garde, you know?
[Guy From Alabama:] Yeah, I know what you mean.
[Massimo:] And this is my last single.
[Phyllis:] Oh, what is he doing? You still carrying on with that song? It's the same thing? I can't, I can't do it anymore. I'm going to make these louder so I don't have to hear about him. Forget the past!
[Don:] I'm sure that it's going to be a hit single.
[Phyllis:] We're coming to the beginning of a new era, wherein the development of the inner self. But you, what do you do? You watch television and you play with "The Bun," driving me crazy. Leave me alone.
[Stumuk:] But this is twelve years later.
[Phyllis:] I know.
[Stumuk:] Have a new "Bun."
[Phyllis:] I know.
[Stumuk:] A better "Bun."
[Phyllis:] What kind of new "Bun"? You . . .
[Stumuk:] A brown "Bun."
[Phyllis:] Every year you tell me is a new "Bun," I'm tired of this. I'm gonna, I'm gonna give it all up, I'm gonna go back to New York, I'm tired of you already. Finish! I can't. No, no, no, no. Go! Can you stop me?
[FZ:] I wanna do another take of the same situation from the other side.
[Carl:] Let me go on the other side.
[FZ:] And Mr. Tishman, it's, you've gotta find . . .
[Phyllis:] When I remember this . . .
[FZ:] Yeah
[Carl:] Let me just see uh, "Bun."
[FZ:] Minnesota Tishman.
[Phyllis:] Right here.
[Carl:] Uh, give me the, give me . . . first . . .
[Phyllis:] I remember that guy . . .
[FZ:] Isn't he handsome?
[Phyllis:] Yeah.
[FZ:] He was using the chicken to measure it.
[Haskell Wexler:] Can I stop now, Frank?
[FZ:] Sure.
[Haskell Wexler:] Okay, cut the cam.